Thursday, December 28, 2006

no style...


today was a good day.painted my nails red and soked the winter sun.it was hot suprisingly..well went out with my best friend and she bought a blanket for me..shared a dosa at sagar..wat is it with people and malls? i agree that they are very convenient but i see evrybody hanging out there...it so commercial..like how the advertisements keep saying buy buy buy!!!am glad i dont miss them at all and plus in delhi if u want stylish stuffs then either they r expensive,overpriced and undeserving or simply trashy...the stovepipe or the skinnies were in fashion long time ago but i couldnt find a decent pair till date so obviously i bought them in darjeeling...the bangkok made n kl...in singapore,i agree the clothes are a bit steeply priced but they are so good..i mean why cant we have simple stylish clothes in delhi?.
i do find sarojininagar overrated...n janpath is just there to loot the tourists...there is just no place where u can get decent stylish clothes in one lot...they say delhi is the fashion capital but are u talking abt the overpriced and copied designer stuffs?tho there are a few good ones but then street fashion is where its all at...style comes from the people u seeeing walking on the streets , not some stuffy creamy boutique walls..by the way boutiqyues in delhi are such shams..they are just an excuse for rich housewives who have nothing better to do...
so the next time i have to go shopping,i must surely give delhi a miss..
well the winter is well settled..really chilly most of the days n the fog is creatinga mess for evrybody..gnite..j is coming tom so i must sleep..ta

Monday, December 25, 2006

merry christmas


Hello there…with my stomach distended with too many helpings of rice and the morning that is well on its way, I know I should be in bed by now. I was reading the January issue of the Time magazine which has interesting articles on people who have made something of their lives with unconventional means. Well for some people, it is very simple. But for a procrastinator like me, I have no choice but to learn the hard way.
Since it is cold, my depressive views on life get all the encouragement a foggy
wintry day can bring…what is it that makes me so lazy? I feel lazy even to get up in the mornings...o well afternoons mostly.
Today is the eve before Christmas, yet I feel so uninspired and boring. Before I came to this lazy state, I saw an entire work free day as an endless possibility to read books, write and make silly sketches in my diary, watch the TV... I was never bored being alone ,But now I am scared to be by myself…I go back in to the past and remember all the opportunities that have passed me by .But what can I do now since I am a person who cannot feel regret except for a second or two. I do not like to regret anything at all,
well then hoping that the new year will b a good year for me has lifted my spirits considerably .We all have worries ,secrets ,dual lives ,regrets and hope is the only magic wand that can clear the cobwebs away .So today I am going to be happy…before I go on to say before I was like this…..may I mention the fact that you could call me a happy go lucky girl safely ?My mind was always high on life ,never failed to get up and walk no matter how hard it was but these days all I see before is the dark and lonely road .Then again you cant call me sad in totality because I am still happy .Its just that the spunk in me has just gone.
So I am thinking that there are other serious issues in life than my silly ineligible rantings that even I fail to understand .That makes me very happy indeed. I can safely say I am not alone .To all the sisters and brothers suffering silently beneath your rich rags or simply rags, I say hope.
Goodnight.
hello i went for the christmas at ymca it was a nice service..the passge from the bible was from john abt loving one another and loving jesus..the guilt reflected in my eyes...after listening to the pastor,i realised what was missing from my life...well it wa s good christmas...on xmas evewe cut the cake n drank sweet wine from goa ...merry christmas to all.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

LANDSLIDE


hello i m listening to rilo.k.accidental death..i feel like death myself..there is an anger in me and i want to kill it..but i dont know how...but its slowly killing me...
well hello confusion,self pity,tears that are dying to break out,bleakness,apathy....it is the biggest sin to kill the spirit while u live...somebody said ..something like this ...must be ..could be, i forgot..hello losing memory...
well i hate my job..the politics make me wannna puke.. it doesent help that i m dying to loose my job but who will pay my bills then?money does make the world go around and plus i have to eat all those wonderful things like the white rice i cant do without,pork pickle,bitter gourd,egg soup,creamy tom yum noodle(ff)those delicious chocolate pastries and souffles...ya..so i need to keep working my ass off n listen to those bitches at work..i guess this is what life is about..all these things shape the way your life goes...i am talking as if i live below the poverty line but being blessed with loving parents,boyfriend and frens,things are not so bad ya but right now i am going mad and evyrday i deteriorate..in spirit..mum says i should talk to jesus and he will listen to my troubles but living and breathing the faithless air we all do,my zeal has disappeared..
o life with all your colorful suprises...
reading this whole lot of crap,ppl might think i am depressed ..i am not...i am just tired...cuz hope burns eternal in the human mind and i am made of the same mud...
full of optimism,i march forward only to fall and fall hoping that one day i will rise again..like the cliched phoenix...
like james dean said ''Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today'' ..so am trying to do just that..tho i wouldnt think he would be the right candidate to guide me in my state of confusion....atleast he did live life fast n went with a bang

but then i should give credit to j for being my pillar of support and clearing the cobwebs in my head...i love him and that love comes from the deep understanding we have developed over a period of 6 years....
we have to start looking for a new apartment to shift soon..this house is killing me tho its lovely with beautiful creamy walls...my xmas tree is looking so fine but i still have to buy some more stuffs to hang on to the poor thing..it deserves to shine..
crazy but happy too..so dont get me wrong i love myself and the life i have..i shud be thankful ,so on a happy holidays note,i say gnite dearies...my mom,dad,my sweetest j,my fren who is romping away somewhere on a beach,and the crazy ones who are with me...i love u allll muahhhhhh!!!

Friday, December 15, 2006

ROTO


well well who do u see here?it is the self proclaimed procastinator...hehheehhe..
brrrrr the cold had taken over delhi n we all reeling under it..the frozen toes are proof enuff...
i did go home on 6th nov and wat a glorious time i had ..when i did return after two weks i was full of love and peace and ama ko special pork ko khutta ko acharr..yummy..if u want me to live only on that for a 100 years,dont dare me.darjeeling was then like bride after the afterglow of her wedding celebrations...mellow and warm and embracing before the winter set in...the experience was good...went out with my parents and that day was a lovely one to remember..
couldnt do much there though apart from walking to and fro n in and out of fiesta,buzz,keventers(lovely hot chocolate drink) and penang(nepali thali)....ya thats all i can remember now if u ask me wat did i actually do there
? yeah lots of shopping too....bought korean movies..they fine since i love korean movies,i will like them neways...
saying goodbyes are so hard..and i want to avoid them all my life if i could...the moment i hear goodbyes,i get this hazy vision of me hugging my parents saying bye and walking away with this tight lump in my throat....so i did hug them n came with the pain of seperation...i hate it.
delhi was bleak n foggy and noisy...it was a sin to have all that assault me all at once...phew!!! i thought here i am back to reality ,the gring of making money,giving fake smiles when all you want to do is tear their throats apart......
there are days when i am alone in the house with the tv on playing vh1..the silence suddenly becomes so painful and then i think,it must be the silence of confusion in my mind...if i was at peace,why am i talking about confusion...????thats a good question ..
well i am back to reality ..thank you and the cold is as fierce as ever..
today was a fruitful day..i hugged my parents goodbye again...came back richer than ever with darjeeling oranges, wai wai ,pork pickle and my favourite greens cooked with ama,s love...
darjeeling...my strength in teh darkest days..knowing that you will bring me back to ama,baba,the mist,chowrasta,the blue skies and the snowy mountain ranges...u are lved!!!
guess wat?an amazing thing happened a week back..i have this friend and we used to work together and we are in touch again...thought i would never see him again..this world is a small place indeed
well my beau is somewhere near the khola working his ass off so am missing him ..hope he comes back to civilisation soon...
bye for now..i still havent finished eating elle and vogue yet so cheerioooo...
by the way m learning spanish...como.roto.loco.poco.cultura.cama.nada.hasta and i pronounce them well..hehehhe. cu tomorrow then...

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


hello
am coming here after a longggg time n i know its bad..my writing habits have gone downnn literally..my writing plans have yet again been put to a halt all thanks to me....
lot of things have happened..i did go to mussorie n it was lovely..beautiful holiday i had wth my boyfriend...a trip to remember..i still shiver wth delight when i think of the long walks we took on the mall while on our way to dinner..it ws delightful..just talking and deciding which restaurant shud we try tnite?tho there were hardly any choises...but the fun was in deliberating whether we shud eat momos or dal makhani or pizza?
i absolutely detested dehradun which was sad..cuz it looked like any mid sized town which could be a city in the future...noisy,polluted ,hot and cramped...was not beautiful though am sure it has its delights but then my moood was more towards mist n cool weather...so i didnt give it any chance to grow on me....maybe i shud later..hmm
well this time kl ws hectic..as soon as we reached we went shopping..i didnt find the clothes i wanted but i did end up buying a cute kitten toy which i left at the hotel bed.sigh!!!..and an old friend came to visit so were up till 1 and gosh!!!we had to wake up really early..when i hit the bed,i was in 7th heaven since sleep is such an important ingredient in my life...it was hectic but fun.
well afetr coming home i got a casual leave..so i slept the whole dy...and later went to visit friends...by the way, i bought the latest vogue..it still has to be devoured..wat wth sleeping and roaming,no time at all..my books are still read half ....aarrrghhh!!!
well theres this korean movie called musa..i got to watch..interesting... delhi has become colder...thank u so much...so m baskinbg in the pleasantness before the nasty cold covers delhi with its icy blanket...phew!!!
lots to write but i must be up early..ta

Sunday, September 24, 2006

mom zzzang!!!!


>hello wat a long and tiring day..just got over watching a korean movie//my tutor friend...we watched another one last nite called almost love an n both the movies ,the actor is the same and hes got such lips!!! these movies have such simple story lines..i had forgotten how simple and charming love can be..now all i know of love is longing,fighting,waiting,crying...well thats the perils of being in a long distance relationship but then its not so bad as i am making it out to be..its all good but it also has its fair share of downs!!!j is coming in a week ..am i happy!!!
well all these broken sentences come from the fingers of a tired cabin crew who has spent a long day running around the flight attending rude passengers..cajoling them,almost begging them to understand...that some things are not in our hands..now if the caterers havent loaded enough vegetarian on the flight is it my doing?...sometimes i feel like hitching my saree up and kicking their faces....being polite and welcoming is a good thing if u are a cabin crew but to handle a rude and sputtering angry passenger,require nerves of steel..today i had the pleasure to meet one such monster...he literally beat me up with his words...well he asked for a suggestion card and i gave him pronto thinking aloud(ALMOST)..u shall have all the suggestion cards in the whole damn world...u bastard!!!!
well tomorrow is my off..away from scheming airhostesses and unhappy passengers wth sad faces and dirty armpits and hairy ones...will some body save me?....i am dyinggggg
okay by now u must have realised that i hate my job..i do...with all the blood in my body.i wish to go away from the bloody aircraft as far as possible...pray for me
hmmm been visiting koreanfilm.org and its fantastic that i can see my favourite stars..hehheh..okay i am fine now..ws so stressed after the flight but reaching home i forgot all that..poof!!! see..that is the magic of love,home n hearth....well have to sleep..plan to do my eyebrows ....high time..m starting to look like yakku....mom zzzzang

Thursday, September 21, 2006

namaste


hola
things are still the same...still humid and hot and the slept the entire day but i did go out in the evening to pay my bilss...see ..i am not so lazy after all.....
my plans to dehradun are still pending..havent worked out the details as yet.first it has to be nainital....where shud we stay and whether that place is worth visiting..heard the lakes are beautifu..l..lets see...
okay i have loads of things to do as yet...havnet decided wat i shud wear for my training tomorrow..the flight to hyderabad is early at 6 so have
to catch some sleep also....hair needs to be washed...its a matted mess at best!!!...
hmmm..today i ahve very little to write...feeling evry bored..maybe this place is really getting to me..i think i am just a step away frm being mad....
k..good night...asta la vista...i will come back tomorrow in the evening

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

six degrees


hello
am in the mexico fever cuz i watched six degrees..a travel programme hosted by toby amies of lonely planet...it was wonderful...so mexico tops my list ....before i die i must visit mexico...
well i would like mention the heat in delhi which is getting worse..i mean its september...cmon..nearly three months away from winter...shudnt the heat pack its bags and hibernate for a while n give us a chance to breathe?why cant i get ready wthout sweating like a mad dog?do i have to take bath every five mins?my skin is perpetually sticky as if this huge monster dipped me in honey?........and the hair..my hair cannot take the humidity.i dont know how other people manage but no amount of hair masks n good shampoo makes my hair behave..wat is going on?
i dont even know why i live here at all...delhi sucks ..big time...
theres so much of culture n art happening in mexico..maybe my long time fascination with latin cultures plays a big part in my fondness for this plce but it is catulaly alive...like how before internet became a rage..writing was an art and people still questioned and originalilty was not rare...there are these artists who keep an open house somewhat like a salon..where they share their art...dont know wat u call them exactly..maybe performance art...hmm.
the picture is this guy toby amies learning the art of mexican boxing..very interesting...
well tday i cudnt talk to j cuz my mic let me down ..will have to fix it tom..that is if i dont sleep the whole day...cmon muna ...u must get up early and live life while its still sunny...but i love the nights..they are so much fun...its when the whole world sleeps,i wake up....
must plan the trip to dehradun..hate planning..that gives me the rashes...ewwww!!!call me irresponsible but i am like that and i love it....
am a walking talking chimney...how do u quit smoking?tell me...
la ma gaye la....abo dherai raat bhayo....mery maya timilai.....muahhh

Sunday, September 17, 2006

i am just a bag of bones!!!


i like this song like u want by the dwarves...its just so relaxing to hear somebody sing their guts out...
well m back after a long 5 days..well calicut,mumbai,sharjah,dubai briefly....back to delhi....home is where the heart is....the moment i see the mute dusty buildings and patches of green..i know i have arrived home,my bed,my books.....my pillow....well its still hot as ever..but then hope this gets better ..cmon its already sept and well on our way to october...do i have to do the rain dance ???maybe i should..ta da da!
hmm....november is for my daling darjeeling..it waits for me patiently sometimes foggily...wet n musty n misty n sunny sometimes..i am itching to walk the roads there..the whoosh of cold air that will make my nose wet and my eyes misty ....
sleep is hiding within the fold sof my tired eyes...i just took off my kajal...been awake the whole nite but suprisingly i dont wannna sleep....it just feels so good to be home and not in some hotel bed watching tv like a dumbassssss...well this time i did watch a lot of tv...the books i had taken wth me were of no use...they are mad at me...so must make them happy soon..
''the wisdom is in the trees
not the in the glass window''
...........jack johnson(o king of sweet lullabies)
well wat else?tday i intend to sleep like a log..j wl be back frm his work tomorrow..so looking forward to talking to him...the 5 days feel like a century...
''lets get together and feel alrite
give thanks and praise to the lord''
guess whos that?
hmm....dont have much to say really
by the way maccha fwded me this mail which talks abt your
traits according to your blood group..like always ,it was inaccurate..it said
ppl with ab+ grp are hardworking..tahts like the biggest joke ever..come to
think of it..i dont like to work even a teeny weeny bit..wish i ws still in my
teens...being on the wrong side of 20"s is no fun..i tell u...u must take it from me..the queen of paranoia..whos scared of wrinkles,double chins,flabbiness...i keep informing my girls on any new information that i mite read on those overwelhmingly articles on how to keep age at bay and the 5 tips to banish those sly wrinkles around your eyes...though we still havent been attacked by the green eyed wrinkle virus...it scares the shit outta me....waaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!call it vain,stupid,funny,baseless but evrybody wants to retain their youth and i dont beg to differ at all..
ok now enough of bullshitting,am soberly sleepy...my feet hurt cuz i been up and running all nite feeding those monsters in the aircraft....ta.....

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

hello today was very hot..trust me to complain the moment i get a chance but hello!!!try living in delhi...last nite i slept early for once..i got suprised myself..well i woke up early too..yipee!!!this is no mean feat for a lazy cat like moi....then got ready to go to the airport office..got my salary cheque..that did raise my spirits ..money always does even if u mouth the philosophical shit that u dont need money to make u happy.. but lord it does make u happy temporarily..but who is happy all the time?that wud be quite irritating..
i really need to know why delhi is still hot as ever...only my big glasses saved me from bursting in flames...but ppl here act as if they were born on hot coals...they just dont look like they burning in the sun!!!amazing...
m back to work now and that is such a pain in the ass...
i turned 27 on the 9th ..did i laugh?yeah tons...i always laugh n want to laugh..it makes u feel so good but this time i think i traced a hint of sadness in the teethbaring gurgles!!!imagine in three years time i will be well on my way to 30..actually comfortably settled in the 30's bracket...when u are in your mid twenties u still think u can pass of for a young girl but as u near 30...dont u tell me u feel like a teenager....i may rave and rant that i hate ageing but in spirit i still am the reckelss careless funseeking laughing maniac that i am...neways where is it written in black n white that one shud behave one's age?...of course u shudnt try to act cute n like a baby but age is no bar to living life to the hilt
i am a big cribber in life though its not directed towards anybody.... the traffic,the indecency in ppl,the pimples that seem to be in a queue to torture me...the lack of clothes .no matter how many i bought the last time i went shopping...my heart is still singing from te peep toe sandals i own now.....
have to get to work on my writing plans...when will i get down to it?i blame the heat for the listlessness but its in my my heart i know that for sure..okay will stp this blabber and make some tea and try being sane for a while..adios!!

Monday, September 11, 2006


hello...my hands are aching from too much of net surfing...m gonna sleep now...long day tomorrow..delhi is still hot..the rest of the world can freeze in snow and flood but delhi will be covered in sunshine 24/7....

by urban death i mean the lack of natural greenery and blocks of concrete biuldings,the pressure of making money,the traffic and the people in delhi.. not to forget the abominable autowallahs...the weather...the ambitions that you carry in your heart....the constraints that makes it so tough to let those very dreams materialise...

i cannot sleep at night cuz thats when my day begins..and since i work as cabin crew, my work timings are so weird...one lousy day begins at 4 in the morning and sometimes at 12 midnight...so the chances of me creating a regular bed time is almost imposible...i love to read ,imagine travelling to all those faraway nooks and crannies i only can read about...yes my smoking goes up when i am alone cuz it keeps me company..not that i need company all the time..i cherish the times i can be with myself...there are days when i feel so claustrophobic with people milling around all the time and passengers making demands like it is their birthright...

my head rite now feels like it is about to explode..my job is shitty ,that is the mildest word i can use to describe my disastisfaction....it keeps me only cuz i need money..my dreams of becoming a designer has gone up in smoke since i tried but looking back i didnt try hard enough...

i am tireeeeddd cuz i am a lazy cat n sleep calls me like a longlost lover...adios